Wednesday, November 30, 2011

How to Get Your Way (accdg to Collin)

At 7 months old, my baby, Collin, has seemed to have mastered the scheme of knowing what he wants and making it happen.

Here's how:

1. When your mommy puts you down on your back on the changing table, scream. Hysterically. Maybe, just maybe, she will give in and just let you play rather than do something unimportant like change your soiled diaper or brush your teeth. If it doesn't work, try again. Keep trying until she gets a massive migraine attack.

2. When you want to sleep or drink your milk, but your mommy puts you on the middle of the bed or on the play mat because yet again, she wants to do something selfish and unimportant like pee 2 gallons of urine for 2 seconds or grab a bite of breakfast at 2pm, throw yourself backwards and move all your limbs to every direction that your muscle will let you and show her a soprano-like cry that will make the widows break and her eardrums bleed. It's very easy to do and it's guaranteed to work.

3. When your mommy is tricking you into sleeping through the night by nursing you even though you are full, bite her. Watch for her reaction, it's funny! Kindda kewl, actually.

Ps: if you see mommy frown because she's almost fed up, smile at her or even chuckle a lil bit so she will forget everything you did and you can then do it all over again. Yey

Monday, November 14, 2011

A Rant on Edward

After Collin was born, Edward and I have never been so closed and we've never been so in love and we've never been happier and everything just fell into place. [insert more lies here]

Umm, yes you read the last sentence right. Just in case you didn't get it, let me tell it to you straight: the above paragraph is everything but the truth.

Don't get me wrong though. Collin is the best thing that ever happened in our life. But you see, I'll have to admit that there is a huge responsibility that came with it. And before I say anything else, I'd like to clarify that I am exactly where I want to be. I don't want to change a thing. (yes it's ok that he bites me when I nurse him. It's part of the memories that I'll never ever forget!) oh wait, there is something I want to be changed!! Hint hint - see title of this blog entry! ;)

You see, our life before was about having a nice dinner on a week night, movies on the week end and traveling twice a year where our heart desires.

Then came Collin.

Our house is in now in turmoil. The bed is not made. The laundry is full. The dishes are dirty... Ok ok ok it had always been like that even before Collin came to the picture. But I swear something changed! Or someone did! Someone got soooooo cranky! Hint hint hint - see title of this blog entry ;)

Yes my dear readers. I'm ranting about edward's annoying behavior.

Allow me to share some stories:

Story 1: one night when Collin was about 3 wks old, my body was in so much pain because my legs and hands were swollen. To add to this inconvenience, Collin didn't want to sleep in his crib. He had to be held all night long else he wakes up right away. Because I was trying to be a good wife, I held him for hours on end so edward will not be awakened with Collins loud cries. I was so excited for morning to come so when the hubby wakes up, he'll be my knight and shining armor like always. I just knew in my heart that the moment he sees me still awake, he will get the baby and let me sleep for as long as I want. Then Finally, after his 8 hrs of deep slumber, he woke up! I was about to do my happy dance when he blurted grouchily , "aahhh!! I'm so tired!! My head hurts!!!"
Grrr!!

2 after being off from work for a month and a half, I came back with more than what a human being can possibly handle. So to catch up, I worked day in and day out, every single day of the week! Yup, including week ends! On the 5th week end that I was working, I told edward that I really want to be off the next week end and the only way for that to happen is for me to work that day with out taking care of Collin every couple of hours. Which means, he has to take over my week end mama duties that day instead of doing something very very important -play basketball. Since it's very heart breaking for him to skip a game, he had to sarcastically tell me that since Collin is always sleeping, he will then sleep again and make himself fat and swollen. His exact words?? "oh cge nde na ako magbabasketball. Magpapamanas nlng ako."
GRRRRRR

3. One day, instead of coming home to a peaceful house, I came home hearing a discussion between edward and his mom, who spent the night at our house. I felt for edward as he was complaining to his mom as to why she woke him up when he still had time to sleep and that he had an alarm clock anyway. While feeling sorry for him, I asked for more information.
Rei: what time did she wake you up?
Edward: 1:18!!!!!
Rei: huh? What time was you alarm clock set?? **confused**
Edward: 1:20!!!!

Nyaaaaaaa

4. One conversation
Rei: gosh I'm so tired. I only slept for 2hrs
Edward: my throat hurts

5 in a other conversation
Rei: I'm so sleepy. I haven't slept in weeks
Edward: my back hurts

6 in a txt msg at 3am
Rei: gosh Collin is awake. He doesn't wanna sleep.
Edward: I'm feeling sick

7- in another conversation
Rei: collin is teething. I was up all night because he was crying
Edward: oh men my skin hurts!

Did you notice anything wierd in numbers 4-7? No I didn't cut anything out. That's was exactly how he responded in my complaints!! Nyarrr

I'm not trying to ruin edward nor am I looking for someone to beat him up for me. (but if you insist, go ahead) :)

Even though he has been annoying, I think I just have to learn to understand him. You see, you can make him do anything but loose a minute of sleep. You can make him clean the bathroom, sweep the floor, vacuum the carpet, cook dinner, roll on the floor, sit still, get the ball with his mouth, jump off a cliff. Anything! Just not during his bedtime!

Perhaps this is what parenting is about. It's about working together and understanding each other.

Yes, a baby can make you closer and pulls you together. But the amount of responsibility that is suddenly on your shoulders can make or shake a marriage.

And I choose to let this 'make' our marriage. (with a lil rant on the side of course!)

Ps: xoxoxo to my hubby who is quite 'ruined' in this blog. I luv u sleepy head!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Quotable Quotes From Brenden


Today I'd like to share some quotable quotes from my step son Brenden. Here are my top 3 favorites. Feel free to laugh with (or at) me.

1. While we were playing when he was around 2 yrs old, brenden suddenly stopped with a sheer terror on his face; Like as if heaven and earth collided before him. Then, with a lot of confusion and fear, he asked in horror "wat dat?!!?? wat dat??!! WAT DAt??!!!," while ummmm, pointing to my breasts and scooting backwards, away from me!!! (disclaimer: no cleavage was even exposed and no child was traumatized)

2. One week end, about two weeks after I gave birth, brenden said to Collin "bye baby!!!!" Then turns to me and looks and waves at my still bulging tummy and says, "bye bye other baby!!!"

3. Brenden has been very intrigued as to what breastfeeding is. I figured that at 9yrs old, it's just right that he truly understand what it is. One day he was with me as i was breastfeeding Collin. He then asked, "can i see collin breastfeed?" i thought it should be ok because Collin is properly latched anyway. He wont see anything that he hasnt seen before as cleavage here in america is somewhat ubiquitous. To my surprise, after he watched, he then announced, "oh Collin likes breast-feeding! He did this." then he did a breast sucking motion on his lips. You know, the nasty kind that of course he didn't know look nasty!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Mindless Conversations

Do you guys like talking about the 'smart' stuff? By that I mean like some people who likes to have endless conversations about politics, economy and the like. Sometimes to the point of debating? Not that that's wrong.

Well edward watches the news and reads about sports while I on the other hand reads some smart ass articles (while I think that I'm smart in my world of make belief while having coffee with my imaginary friend). Then Edward and I often times discuss the aforementioned topics for a bit. But then, what I really love the most is our mindless conversations. Sorry if I sound so dumb. But really, I like having non-sense-stupidity-inducing-dumbness-causing-but-makes-me-laugh-and-fart kind of conversations.

I don't know about you, but in my case I'd like to just put my feet crossed on top of the coffee table while I slouch in the sofa and just chat about some random thing that relaxes my mind after a long designing-and-coding-a-software-as-I-pull-my-hair-till-my-hair-falls-out-and-my-scalp-bleeds kind of day.

And mind you, I think our non sense conversations help us become good parents.

How?

Simple. When I laugh, stress gets release and I'm all refreshed; Ready to do my other full time job called mamahood, even after having a long frantic day.

I don't have to prove that I'm smart. (or I better not because it might be proven as otherwise) I just want to have a career and take care of my family with all smiles from ear to ear.

And so that is exactly how I roll :)

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Collin vs People of The United States of America

Can I sue Collin? He is assaulting me.

Do you wanna know how a 5 month old baby can possibly do that?? Just read what I've enumerated below and I'm sure you'll tell me that justice needs to be served.

1. While breast-feeding, he pulls my bra strap as far as his little hands can go, which is around 1ft away, then BAM! He let's go of it. Over and over again till my collar bone is about to break and my skin is red as blood and he's finally done feeding.

2. When he's done feeding, he doesn't just unlatched. No no no no. Instead his head turns the opposite way from my chest... With my nipple still in his mouth and his lips tightly sealed.

3. Well, just the same as #2. just add a tooth and a full force bite!

So you tell me, don't I have the grounds to bring him to court? :D

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Fine Line Between Love and Insanity

When a woman gives birth, her body is somewhat reprogrammed to have an undeniably strong maternal instinct.

The once deep sleeper can now be awaken each time her baby stirs in his sleep. Her breasts will hurt right before her baby cries for milk. Her world starts to revolve around her lil one and everything else fades away.

Perhaps, that all boils down to the mothers insurmountable love!

This love turned me into a mother bear; ready to do anything for my baby and always on the look out for his safety.

You see, I have not only looked to make sure if his swaddle is not loose when he sleeps, but I have also checked that he's breathing by poking him (sometimes to the point of waking him up), put my hand on his chest; put my ears against his face; touch his forehead to check for a good temperature;

And not just that, at 2.5 months, Collin started sleeping through the night. The first time he did, I woke up in the middle of the night and realized he had been sleeping for 3.5 hours. I panicked! Threw my blanky on the floor, jumped, tripped, and almost stumbled on the floor as i rushed to him. But ofcourse, he was just sleeping soundly. Despite knowing that, I kept waking up every two hours every night, all through out the week, staring at the clock, counting sheep, goats, cows, stars or what have you, while he slept for 6-8 long hours.

Once, I even put a compact mirror under his nose to check his breathing.

This experience brought me to question, did I just cross the fine line between love and insanity? Or, the line isn't even fine after all, rather, I'm just plain insane? ;)

Monday, October 24, 2011

A toothsie!!!

Collin grew a toothsie!! Collin grew a toothsie!!! A toothsie!! A thootsie!!!

Can't help but be a proud mama!!!

I know it's not as if he just got his diploma for a bachelors degree in college! He's not even a high school grad! But dude, he has a toothsie!!! He now has a left lower front tooth!!! Isn't that amazing??!! Ahhhhhh!!!!!!

It's so hard to contain myself!!! Aaahhhhhhhhhh!!!

It's time for my happy dance!!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Toys vs Washcloths

Being an overly excited mom that I am, I got Collin pretty much every toy a boy his age can play. And mind you, I just don't point my finger on an item and buy it. Instead, I go through quite an extensive research that includes, but is not limited to, reading product reviews of each toy from all sources that the world wide web has to offer. Yet, my efforts went crashing and burning.

See, below are some of the toys that I have carefully selected for him. Can you spot his favorite?


I guess not. Because it's not even there.

See below?


Well, that's his favorite.


I know. That's not even a toy.

Nyar!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Dinner: Before and After The Baby

Life has indeed taken a 180 degrees turn ever since we have Collin. Well, everybody have always known that that's gonna happen. But I can only assume that since every child is unique, then every parenthood also is.

To highlight one change in our lifestyle, I'd like to share what our dinners are like before and after the baby.

Here's a typical dinner before we had Collin.

Rei: you know what, at work, [insert anything about work here up to the tiniest detail] ...**then chew chew chew swallow**
Edward: really? At my work, [insert something about work here told quite vaguely] **chew swallow chew swallow**
Rei: hahaha that's funny. guess what? my friend [this is the part that we talk about everybody else's life :)] **chew chew chew swallow**

45 minutes (and running out of topic) later...
Edward: knock knock **chew swallow chew swallow**
rei: who's there? **chew chew chew swallow**
edward: [insert a corny joke here] **chew swallow chew swallow**
rei: hahaha **fake laughs then chew chew chew swallow**

After 1 hour of eating,
Edward: oh I'm so full!!
Rei: Me tool! **still chewing**

Here's dinner time now that we have Collin. Watch and learn :)

Rei: sit here on your high chair Collin ok? Mommy and daddy will just eat.
Collin: hehehe (I don't know why he's laughing but oh well, he does that)
Edward: **chew**
rei: **chewing faster**

5 minutes later
Collin: waaahhhh wahhhhhh wahhhhhh
Rei: peek a boo!!! peek a boo!!!
Edward: old mc Donald had a farm...
Collin: WAHHHHHH WAHHHHHH
Rei: **swallow. swallow. Swallow. Done!!**

I barely got to taste the meal. But yeah you got that right, Dinner's over!! But hey, I'm not complaining! :)

How bout you, what's your dinner like? :)

Monday, October 10, 2011

Happy father's day to my edward!


When it's fathers day, I hear a lot of people say that every day should be treated like it's fathers day. The same for mothers day, valentines day, Christmas day, birthday or what have you. On all those occasions however, the notion of celebrating it every day ends the same day as the actual event. Then it just becomes an overrated cliche.

I'd like to change this mindset because edward deserves it. Yes, he deserves a daily father's day. (or so I think (:)

I know he would like it better if I have something for him for today's father's day, like a 'turbo-engine-something-I-don't-understand-kind-of-linggo' for his car, a game for his ps3, a new gun or anything manly! That's just my two cents!!

But today, I dedicate a blog entry. (which I'm pretty sure he's not interested, let alone spend time to read. But I'll write one anyway!)

I'm writing this because I'm very much in love with him. But can you blame me? He makes me fall in love with him every single day... Ok ok ok.. There are a handful of days wherein I just want to send him back to his mother via fedex priority overnight (bubble wrap unnecessary)... But most days, like the majority of days, he just sweeps me off my feet. For reals.

Marrying him has remained the best decision I've ever made... Because that decision is the reason why my son is very lucky. He is a wonderful hands on dad. He is the most awesome dad in the planet; oh i mean, the universe!! Forget about how he works overtime as much as possible to provide for the boys. Forget about how he doubles, triples check the doors are locked and the alarm is set in our house. Forget about how he would catch a bullet for us! Those are just the basic job responsibilities of a dad. Edward on the other hand, has all the 'plus' laid out in his 'daddy portfolio.'

Let me tell you about it.

Every afternoon, he takes Collin for a fieldtrip. Just the two of them. May it be at the zoo, park, mall or at the market. He doesn't even use a stroller. Instead, he wears a carrier where Collin sits cozily. He carries all 16lbs with him for more or less 3 hours.

He changes his diapers even if there's a massive poop explosion in it. He feeds him. He bathes him. He reads to him. He plays with him. He tickles him. He sings to him. And I bet he will breastfeed him if he had mammary glands!!

Im just happy and proud that I was able to select a perfect dad for my son... And I hope that he remains as such. :)

To edward, happy fathers day to you my luv!

And I'm sorry I can't luv you today as much as I will tomorrow... Because I just cant help but love you more each day.

Friday, October 7, 2011

5 Lessons Taught by Baby Collin

I know having a baby will also be a learning experience on a daily basis. However, there are things that I never thought I will ever learn from my lil man.

Below are a few:

1. Even the tiniest baby can bring the worst-est and best-est days of your life. Worst when they poop and puke on you, scream on your ear, grab your hair, kick your stomach, head but their head against your lips and make it bleed.. all at pretty much the same time. and best when they, um, like smile at you.. or even just yawn, yes as simple as a yawn can make any day a really good one!
2.My voice is the solution to his constipation. I sing. He poops.
3.Being able to sleep 5 hours straight is like seeing a river in the dessert.
4. A nipple can never be torn off no matter how it's bitten, pulled, nibbled or whatever kind and amount of force is applied to it.
5. Babies can kill your sex life. I mean like dead. Double dead.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Reminis'n: I gave birth to an Octopus

Disclaimer: this blog entry is awfully long and can cause migrane attacts! I hate longggg blog entries myself, but I can’t help it. This is such a momentous occasion in my life and I got wayyy too excited!

It was four days before my scheduled induction. My alarm rang 15 minutes before 8 am as usual. I pulled myself up and remained sited at the edge of the bed as I realized that the contractions that I had been feeling for the past 5 weeks had gotten worse.

I got up and went to the bathroom. Then there I was; Once again panicking; On the verge of tearing the entire bathroom, if not the entire house, down. I was BLEEDING. Quite heavily. Far from what any prenatal book says.

Despite being 39 weeks pregnant, the sight of so much blood threw me off. I knew I may have the baby anytime. But the blood. Oh the sight of that blood. It was a reminder of something that was not beautiful.

To calm me down, I consulted my ‘personal’ doctor. Dr. GOOGLE.com

Big mistake. Enormous. HUGE!

Dr Google said that a pregnant woman can have about a teaspoon full of blood discharge when she goes into labor. When it’s more than that, it’s not normal.

Frantically, I called my doctor. My Real doctor.

After the nurse used all the energy she had just to calm me down, I called my husband at work.

Edward: “hello?”
Rei: “mahal, umuwi ka na.”
Edward: “bakit???”
Rei: “I’m bleeding.”
Edward: “OHHH MY GODDDD!!!!!!!!!!! SHITTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!” **furious**
Rei: “WHAT’S WRONG? HINDI KA PAPAYAGANG UMUWI!!!!!???” ***Way more furious than Edward***
Edward: “HINDI YUN!!!! BA’T KA BLEEDING???!!!???!!! SHIT!!!!!!! SHIT!!!”
Rei: “oh, Baka raw it’s time na sabi ng nurse.”
Edward: “huh?”
Rei: “Baka manganak na raw ako.”
Edward: “oh yeah?? Sige sige sige uwi na ako.” ***mood totally changed. Now extremely excited***

I was then calm and excited for the next 30 minutes or so. But as we drove and unfortunately got stuck in traffic, fear and paranoia once again started to take over my sanity.

In my head I saw snapshots of my bloody discharge. I tried to be optimist but I couldn’t help but thought, “What if I’m bleeding quite heavily because something is wrong. What if my baby is not getting enough oxygen?”

Panicking, I told my husband to drive faster. And of course, being the now-paranoid couple, he asked me if I counted baby’s kicks as I was instructed by the doctor to do so daily. I answered no. He asked me whether or not the baby is active. Again, I answered no. He asked me if I was still bleeding. This time, I said yes.

My mom interrupted and told us that everything is ok. That the baby may not be as active as before because he doesn’t have enough room to move around anymore.

We knew that. But still.

I know. We were paranoid like crazy.

In the hospital, I was partly scared and partly excited; scared that they might send me home despite bleeding, and excited because it could possibly be time. And no; believe it or not, I wasn’t scared to give birth, even though that meant pushing a human being out of my vajeyjey!

It turned out that I was barely 2cm dilated and the bleeding could be because I was in early labor, or only because I had been internally examined the day before. If it turned out to be the latter, I would be sent home.

The thought of going home scared the hell out of me. You see, I’d been doing everything in my power to take care of my pregnancy and the thought of something going wrong is rather unacceptable. I had been in and out of the doctor’s office every 4-7 days for more than 9 months; seeing 1-5 specialists at a time. I never missed an appointment. I’m on top of everything that will help ensure a safe and healthy baby.

I kept telling my husband, my mom, and my sister in law, Armie, that I don’t want to go home. And they all told me the same thing: “Umarte ka”. They kept telling me to exaggerate how much in pain I am because when they see that, they might decide to have me stay. And sure enough, minutes later a doctor came and said I wasn’t in labor yet because I still had a huge smile across my face. But dude!! She saw me when I wasn’t having a contraction. She should have seen me 3 minutes before that. I hate to admit it but I feel like I was a crazy woman that day. Smiling for a few minutes, then focused on one random thing with eyebrows crossed, like that of angry birds, as I go through each contraction. Then the cycle continues; smiling, frowning, smiling, frowning, with 5-7 minute intervals.

After a series of tests, my doctor finally said they’ll only admit me if I progress. She asked me to walked around for about an hour or so then they will check how dilated I become.

So there I was, with my mom and husband walking outside the labor room. In my head, I knew that was a make or break kind of deal. I had to dilate more; else I wouldn’t be admitted. So I brisk walked, to which my mom disagreed because it would tire me and will leave me with out the energy to push later. But to me, I just want to be admitted right there and then. So I walked slowly when my mom is around, but by the time I get to the other side of the building, where my mom couldn’t see me, I brisk walk as fast as I can; holding on to my bulging dropping belly; stopping only during a contraction; then moving on.

More or less an hour later, the contractions were pretty darn bad. We then went back to the labor room and at roughly 5pm, I was officially admitted.

Several hours later, it was time; For reals.

Edward: “Push mahal! Pushhhh!!”
Rei: ***pushes then screams*** “AAAhhhhhh!!”
Edward: “Sige pa mahal. Ayan na tlaga. Ayan na! 1, 2, 3, Pushhh!!!!!!!!”
Edward: ***while Rei’s pushing*** “PUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH. Ayan na tlaga! Konti nlng! PUUUSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

With my hand tighly holding on to my husband’s, I held on my breath long and pushed as hard as I can. It was then that I felt like an octopus came out me; He felt so soft, with limbs so soft like as if it were hanging loose. The next thing I knew was my mom, with only God knows how many cameras were hanging on her neck, and my husband, were teary eyed and looking down by my doctor’s hands. I saw the joy in their faces. My husband let go of my hand. He moved towards the doctor, while mom was moving around everywhere, taking pictures on every angle mathematics has to offer. I tried to pull my upper ‘exhausted’ unassisted body forward to look. Then I heard the bestest sound ever, my baby’s first cry.

It was then that Edward and I looked at each others eyes like we never did before.

On my chest they immediately put my baby; still bloody and all. At that exact moment, blood’s beauty once again emerged.

Edward: “Eto na talaga mahal. Eto na” **crying**
Rei: “I know. I know…” **crying**

I never held anything so beautiful.

I never felt as happy. Not even close.

Tears of joy dawned on me.

I’m a mother. And it’s official. Birth Certified.

John 16:21 A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.

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