It was four days before my scheduled induction. My alarm rang 15 minutes before 8 am as usual. I pulled myself up and remained sited at the edge of the bed as I realized that the contractions that I had been feeling for the past 5 weeks had gotten worse.
I got up and went to the bathroom. Then there I was; Once again panicking; On the verge of tearing the entire bathroom, if not the entire house, down. I was BLEEDING. Quite heavily. Far from what any prenatal book says.
Despite being 39 weeks pregnant, the sight of so much blood threw me off. I knew I may have the baby anytime. But the blood. Oh the sight of that blood. It was a reminder of something that was not beautiful.
To calm me down, I consulted my ‘personal’ doctor. Dr. GOOGLE.com
Big mistake. Enormous. HUGE!
Dr Google said that a pregnant woman can have about a teaspoon full of blood discharge when she goes into labor. When it’s more than that, it’s not normal.
Frantically, I called my doctor. My Real doctor.
After the nurse used all the energy she had just to calm me down, I called my husband at work.
Edward: “hello?”
Rei: “mahal, umuwi ka na.”
Edward: “bakit???”
Rei: “I’m bleeding.”
Edward: “OHHH MY GODDDD!!!!!!!!!!! SHITTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!” **furious**
Rei: “WHAT’S WRONG? HINDI KA PAPAYAGANG UMUWI!!!!!???” ***Way more furious than Edward***
Edward: “HINDI YUN!!!! BA’T KA BLEEDING???!!!???!!! SHIT!!!!!!! SHIT!!!”
Rei: “oh, Baka raw it’s time na sabi ng nurse.”
Edward: “huh?”
Rei: “Baka manganak na raw ako.”
Edward: “oh yeah?? Sige sige sige uwi na ako.” ***mood totally changed. Now extremely excited***
I was then calm and excited for the next 30 minutes or so. But as we drove and unfortunately got stuck in traffic, fear and paranoia once again started to take over my sanity.
In my head I saw snapshots of my bloody discharge. I tried to be optimist but I couldn’t help but thought, “What if I’m bleeding quite heavily because something is wrong. What if my baby is not getting enough oxygen?”
Panicking, I told my husband to drive faster. And of course, being the now-paranoid couple, he asked me if I counted baby’s kicks as I was instructed by the doctor to do so daily. I answered no. He asked me whether or not the baby is active. Again, I answered no. He asked me if I was still bleeding. This time, I said yes.
My mom interrupted and told us that everything is ok. That the baby may not be as active as before because he doesn’t have enough room to move around anymore.
We knew that. But still.
I know. We were paranoid like crazy.
In the hospital, I was partly scared and partly excited; scared that they might send me home despite bleeding, and excited because it could possibly be time. And no; believe it or not, I wasn’t scared to give birth, even though that meant pushing a human being out of my vajeyjey!
It turned out that I was barely 2cm dilated and the bleeding could be because I was in early labor, or only because I had been internally examined the day before. If it turned out to be the latter, I would be sent home.
The thought of going home scared the hell out of me. You see, I’d been doing everything in my power to take care of my pregnancy and the thought of something going wrong is rather unacceptable. I had been in and out of the doctor’s office every 4-7 days for more than 9 months; seeing 1-5 specialists at a time. I never missed an appointment. I’m on top of everything that will help ensure a safe and healthy baby.
I kept telling my husband, my mom, and my sister in law, Armie, that I don’t want to go home. And they all told me the same thing: “Umarte ka”. They kept telling me to exaggerate how much in pain I am because when they see that, they might decide to have me stay. And sure enough, minutes later a doctor came and said I wasn’t in labor yet because I still had a huge smile across my face. But dude!! She saw me when I wasn’t having a contraction. She should have seen me 3 minutes before that. I hate to admit it but I feel like I was a crazy woman that day. Smiling for a few minutes, then focused on one random thing with eyebrows crossed, like that of angry birds, as I go through each contraction. Then the cycle continues; smiling, frowning, smiling, frowning, with 5-7 minute intervals.
After a series of tests, my doctor finally said they’ll only admit me if I progress. She asked me to walked around for about an hour or so then they will check how dilated I become.
So there I was, with my mom and husband walking outside the labor room. In my head, I knew that was a make or break kind of deal. I had to dilate more; else I wouldn’t be admitted. So I brisk walked, to which my mom disagreed because it would tire me and will leave me with out the energy to push later. But to me, I just want to be admitted right there and then. So I walked slowly when my mom is around, but by the time I get to the other side of the building, where my mom couldn’t see me, I brisk walk as fast as I can; holding on to my bulging dropping belly; stopping only during a contraction; then moving on.
More or less an hour later, the contractions were pretty darn bad. We then went back to the labor room and at roughly 5pm, I was officially admitted.
Several hours later, it was time; For reals.
Edward: “Push mahal! Pushhhh!!”
Rei: ***pushes then screams*** “AAAhhhhhh!!”
Edward: “Sige pa mahal. Ayan na tlaga. Ayan na! 1, 2, 3, Pushhh!!!!!!!!”
Edward: ***while Rei’s pushing*** “PUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH. Ayan na tlaga! Konti nlng! PUUUSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
With my hand tighly holding on to my husband’s, I held on my breath long and pushed as hard as I can. It was then that I felt like an octopus came out me; He felt so soft, with limbs so soft like as if it were hanging loose. The next thing I knew was my mom, with only God knows how many cameras were hanging on her neck, and my husband, were teary eyed and looking down by my doctor’s hands. I saw the joy in their faces. My husband let go of my hand. He moved towards the doctor, while mom was moving around everywhere, taking pictures on every angle mathematics has to offer. I tried to pull my upper ‘exhausted’ unassisted body forward to look. Then I heard the bestest sound ever, my baby’s first cry.
It was then that Edward and I looked at each others eyes like we never did before.
On my chest they immediately put my baby; still bloody and all. At that exact moment, blood’s beauty once again emerged.
Edward: “Eto na talaga mahal. Eto na” **crying**
Rei: “I know. I know…” **crying**
I never held anything so beautiful.
I never felt as happy. Not even close.
Tears of joy dawned on me.
I’m a mother. And it’s official. Birth Certified.
John 16:21 A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.
