In the midst of it all, i somehow realized how Blessed my Life was and is. It was an awakening. But still, the burden in my heart was too heavy to carry.
I then spent the whole day lying on my bed, in my room.
As i've spent all 7 consecutive days in my room. (Three of which i spent 8 hours in my office with Door closed; Immediately going straight home after work, back in my room -- door closed.) i have watched all movies in HBO... I've watched all comedy movies and sitcoms, and none of them made me laugh.
I was left with out a choice. Only 1 movie to watch. I hestitated.
It was the move "Baby Mama"
Baby Mama Synopsis (from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0871426/synopsis)
Successful and single businesswoman Kate Holbrook has long put her career ahead of a personal life. Now 37, she's finally determined to have a kid on her own. But her plan is thrown a curve ball after she discovers she has only a million-to-one chance of getting pregnant, due to her "T-shaped uterus." Undaunted, the driven Kate allows South Philly working girl Angie Ostrowiski to become her unlikely surrogate. Simple enough ... After learning from the steely head of their surrogacy center that Angie is pregnant, Kate goes into precision nesting mode: reading childcare books, baby-proofing the apartment and researching top pre-schools. But the executive's well-organized strategy is turned upside down when her Baby Mama shows up at her doorstep with no place to live. An unstoppable force meets an immovable object as structured Kate tries to turn vibrant Angie into the perfect expectant mom. However, Angie's husband shows up while Kate is not there and thrreatens with the truth: the baby is from his sperm, not from one of Kate's eggs. Soon Angie's husband reveals the truth. The two women go to court over the case. Meanwhile, Kate has been seeing a man and sleeping with him, but she has no problem--she has a T-shaped uterus, right? The results of the paternity test reveal in court that the baby is Angie's, not Kate's. Angie and Kate refuse to speak to each other, until Angie's baby arrives. On that day, Kate dicovers that she, too, is pregnant. Angie and Kate have two happy lives after that, and Kate's child is always nine months younger than Angie's
In this movie, I laugh for the first time! I laugh with out trying. I do not understand how it happened. But at one point during the day, my heart just felt lighter. And now when i think about it, the movie wasn't even that funny. And how can that be funny for me, when i just Loss a child. But somehow; for some unexplained reason; My heart felt so light; I was "nabunutan ng tinik" in an unexplainable manner.
Well, i must admit. I still think about the baby that i loss. I think about it every minute of the hour; every hour of every day. I still do cry.
BUT... it just suddenly stopped being 'agonizing.'
