Dude, I'm The Man!

For the past couple of days, I can't help but pray for the Miracle of Life. I pray as I drive. I pray as I take a shower. I pray as I cook. I pray as I eat. I pray as I wake up. I pray as I go to bed. I pray as I breath. I even find myself praying in my dreams!

You see, we now have all the necessary ingredients for our dream to come true: Good mature eggs, 14 times more than the necessary sperm count, progesterone supplements to help in implantation and more so, to improve the lining of my uterus on the event that I get pregnant. I've gone through all I could possibly do, including 'baby dancing' even while having 3 infected incisions in my lower abdomen, just to achieve this One Great Dream.

I know, I'm being a brat. Other couples try for years and years and they do not complain, while I on the other hand have been trying for only months. Perhaps, I should just be thankful that my every other dream came true: A four bedroom house in a white neighborhood, a loving caring husband, a successful career and financial freedom in my mid twenties. All these I brag to myself. I fool myself into believing that I'm the Man! Looking back, I could not see any other instance that I have prayed as much as I have now. And this gives me the realization of what a fool I have been. Why only pray so much now? What's up with the 'quick' prayers during the times when I thought I had it all? I am such a fool.

I hate to admit this, but I deserve the miscarriage. I deserved to be heart broken because of that.

And I do not deserve the house, the family, the career. Yet, GOD provided me with all that. HE never stopped pouring all these blessings despite me being thankless.

I must also admit, that there are several times that I do not post, or hesitate to post a blog when there is so much about GOD and my faith in HIM. As I've said, I'm the Man!!!! Not some nerdy, nun-like lady! Dude, I'm cool ya' know!? :)

But it's about time to make things right. I should not care if there are people who'll think negatively of me for posting a blog on my Faith in GOD.

And today, I pray for forgiveness for all the years when I didn't praise GOD enough. I pray for forgiveness for all the years that I rarely pray. And I thank GOD for giving me all the possessions I have even when I do not deserve it. I thank GOD for binding my husband and I into a wonderful happy blessed marriage.

And once again, I pray for the Miracle of Life. I pray for a healthy and safe pregnancy in the near future. GOD, it is only through your power and glory that our One Great Dream will come true. These are the desires of my heart. But nevertheless, it is not my will, but YOUR Will be done.

1 John 5:14-15
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him

I end this blog with a note: Dude, I am the Man! For I am a woman with One Big GOD!