Depression 101

My period is due tomorrow. Of course, I'm hoping it's not gonna come. But today, I'm depressed. I'm quite sure I'm not pregnant. All the symptoms I had during my first pregnancy are not around. I can't feel any of it. I feel noth'n but an empty womb.

The hubby and I made a pact that we are no longer gonna stress over trying to conceive. I suppose it's just right to do so since this is just the second cycle that we are trying to conceive after I miscarried. But I can't help but get frustrated. I suppose had I not gotten pregnant and miscarried, I wouldn't feel the same thing. Perhaps because I know in my heart that all these struggles boils down to one reason: I miscarried. Had I not miscarried, every morning that I wake up is a gorgeous morning.

If I put my logic into this, we have only been trying for a total of 7 months; 5 before i got pregnant and the other 2 after I miscarried. My brain says that isn't so bad. But my heart. My heart.