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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Depression 101

My period is due tomorrow. Of course, I'm hoping it's not gonna come. But today, I'm depressed. I'm quite sure I'm not pregnant. All the symptoms I had during my first pregnancy are not around. I can't feel any of it. I feel noth'n but an empty womb.

The hubby and I made a pact that we are no longer gonna stress over trying to conceive. I suppose it's just right to do so since this is just the second cycle that we are trying to conceive after I miscarried. But I can't help but get frustrated. I suppose had I not gotten pregnant and miscarried, I wouldn't feel the same thing. Perhaps because I know in my heart that all these struggles boils down to one reason: I miscarried. Had I not miscarried, every morning that I wake up is a gorgeous morning.

If I put my logic into this, we have only been trying for a total of 7 months; 5 before i got pregnant and the other 2 after I miscarried. My brain says that isn't so bad. But my heart. My heart.

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