Dating for the first time after the baby

Being a parent is easy. All you need to do is follow your instincts.

But being a 'responsible' parent is totally different. It's something that can not be taught; you just have to live and acquire this knowledge in each passing day.

Responsible parenthood is doing what's right for your child, not just what your heart desires. It's about letting your baby explore on his own, even if that means risking a bruise on his knee. It's about feeding him vegetables when what he really wants is banana -24/7. It's about forcing him to not go to the bathroom, when all he wants to do is play with the toilet.

Amongst all that, the hardest that I've done so far is to teach him to deal with separation anxiety.

It really doesn't sound all that hard. As a matter of fact, I've planned how to handle this way before even trying to have a baby. I've always known that I should raise my baby in a way that he doesn't suffer a bad case of separation anxiety in his toddler years. I've read books, magazines, blogs that gives suggestions in dealing with it.

Then time came when it's time to implement the plan. I told my husband that we should start being away from him for a couple of hours in the morning, while he is in a good mood and 'ol ready to play.

And below was how it rolled out...


9am: I give my mil instructions about how to take care of my baby, including but not limited to, what time his next nap will be, what to feed him, how to swaddle him, how to rock him, how to soothe him to sleep, when and how to change his diapers and more. That is despite her having 3 kids and 6 grand kids and a professional nanny of twins

915: I get dressed.

945: I go through the same
Instructions I gave at 9am.

10am: we leave the house.

10:05am:
Mama nalyn: Do you think Collin will be ok?
Papa dward: Yah of course

10:15am
Mama nalyn: Do you think Collin's ready to be away from me?
Papa dward: Yah of course

10:30am
Mama nalyn: Do you think Collin is sad because I'm gone?
Papa dward: No don't worry he'll be fine

10:45am
Mama nalyn: Being away from me for a while is good for him, right?
Papa dward: Yes of course
Mama nalyn: It is better to start young rather than me being away from him for the first time when he is already 4. Right?
Papa dward: Yes that's right
Mama nalyn: and he's having fun at home, right?
Papa dward: yes
Mama nalyn: and it's good that we go on dates so we won't be drained out and we keep a happy and healthy relationship, right?
Papa dward: yes that's right.

11am:
Mama nalyn: do you think..
Papa dward: (cuts of my sentence) OH MY GOD!! He'll be fine ok?!?!!!!!!
Mama nalyn: I wanna go home!!!!

But hey, we didn't go home. We immediately went to our appointment with the caterer for Collin's 1st birthday and then...

We watched a movie and had a lunch date. OK. We didn't! We just went straight home after the appointment.

Not bad for a first day out, right?

Ovulation Predictor Kits

A lot of men and women fear the term infertility.

Having such an issue really took a toll on me. It's so sad that I don't even want to talk about it further right now.

So instead, let's talk about the really kewl test before the pregnancy test. Known as the ovulation test!

Allow me to share some vignettes of ovulation test kit induced events

1. Mama nalyn to papa dward: look I'm almost ovulating!! Time to stock up on your spermies!!! Don't touch me nor yourself!

2. mama n to papa d: I'm ovulating! I'm ovulating!!! Stop whatever your doing and let's go!!!!

3 mama n: shit. I'm still not ovulating (just about to cry)
Papa d: don't stress. That's ok. Let's just do it anyway.

4. Mama n: crap. it's been months and I'm still not ovulating. (almost bawling like a little bratty girl)
Papa d: thats ok. Don't stress. Let's just do it anyway.

5. mama nalyn: can I be off from work early today? (with purse and laptop bag in tow)

Asst vice president of operations at mama nalyns's work: why?

Mama n: because I'm ovulating.


How about you? What was your TTC (trying to conceive) like? It can't be more fun than mine, ayt?

Ovulation Predictor Kits

A lot of men and women fear the term infertility.

Having such an issue really took a toll on me. It's so sad that I don't even want to talk about it further right now.

So instead, let's talk about the really kewl test before the pregnancy test. Known as the ovulation test!

Allow me to share some vignettes of ovulation test kit induced events

1. Mama nalyn to papa dward: look I'm almost ovulating!! Time to stock up on your spermies!!! Don't touch me nor yourself!

2. mama n to papa d: I'm ovulating! I'm ovulating!!! Stop whatever your doing and let's go!!!!

3 mama n: shit. I'm still not ovulating (just about to cry)
Papa d: don't stress. That's ok. Let's just do it anyway.

4. Mama n: crap. it's been months and I'm still not ovulating. (almost bawling like a little bratty girl)
Papa d: thats ok. Don't stress. Let's just do it anyway.

5. mama nalyn: can I be off from work early today? (with purse and laptop bag in tow)

Asst vice president of operations at mama nalyns's work: why?

Mama n: because I'm ovulating.


How about you? What was your TTC (trying to conceive) like? It can't be more fun than mine, ayt?

How to Spot a Douchebag

Disclaimer: all characters, excluding papa dward and baby Collin, appearing in this blog entry are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or (hopefully) dead is purely coincidental.

If you've followed my blog well enough, you must have probably gotten the message that I married a wonderful responsible man. He is an imperfect but awesome husband and a very reliable dad to my lil guy Collin.

I think this goes to say that 'responsible' parenthood should start when one is 'seriously' dating. That is the time when you choose who will potentially be a father to your children in the next 3 or 5or even 10 years.

You see, had I married an A hole, I wouldn't have provided a happy family for my baby Collin. But I must admit though that part of it is just pure luck. I'm lucky to have married a nice wonderful, yet imperfect and sometimes terribly annoying irritating, man.

So I guess, this blog entry goes to all the single ladies out there. It's not too late so don't rely on luck. Choose a man wisely!

Be with a real man. But how will you know?

How did I know?

Well, that's because I know how to spot a douchebag; not to mention I've dated quite a few :p

Perhaps the experience of being with a man like papa dward and some, what's the word, douchebags, gives me
the utter capacity to spot the difference.

So with out a further ado, here is a list of characteristics to streamline the process of spotting a douchbag.

1. He makes you laugh. Again, let me repeat: he makes you laugh. But do take note that papa dward makes me laugh too. What I'm just trying to say is that you can't assume the guy as 'the one' just because he can make you laugh.

2. He is an ego monster. He thinks he is the most awesome guy in the planet. But he is not the only one who thinks that, his mom does too.

3. He acts mature. The keyword is: acts

4. He pretends to be nice to his parents and siblings (if applicable). Keyword? - pretends

5. He can be romantic. If you listen carefully, you will notice that sometimes he will pull of the same line; perhaps he memorized it or used to different women but has forgotten that he said that to you already.

6. He is most likely not handsome. But he doesn't know it.

So if you see these 6 devilish characteristics in the man you are dating... Run!! Run far far far away from him!

How to Ruin a Romantic Night (accdg to Edward)

A few nights ago, the hubby and I were lying on the bed while Collin was playing with his toys on the floor. That was one of those rare moments where Collin was enjoying playing just by himself. It was a perfect time for a romantic night.

For me, being able to talk and laugh with out a baby pulling your hair and biting your skin is a romantic night at it's best.

All was great until he put his arms around me.

"oh!! What was that?" he asked in full excitement and significant lust in his face and tone of voice.

"huh? What?" I asked and paused for a second until I realized what he thought it was. "That's my stomach dude!!!! It's soft and fluffy now!!"

You see, I got no abs. What I have is a fully stretched out, flapping, stretch marked tummy. And figuring out where my breast ends and my stomach starts needs a complex analysis made by NASA. Although, I really didn't realize it's all that bad until the hubby sort of um, slap that information on may face!

But of course, just like what a typical guy would do, he denied his mistake. He pretended that he knew that it was my stomach and that I just misinterpreted him. (I can't believe he actually thought I would buy that! seriously?)

And that is how one can ruin a potentially romantic night.

The (not to mention, freakn') end!

Breastfeeding Mama

Collin is now 10 months old. And all this time, he never had even an ounce of formula.

I am proud to say that I am an advocate of breast feeding and I'd like to convince soon to be moms to do the same.

Perhaps the best route to take is by enumerating all the health benefits of breast feeding. But that's just not my style, because that's just plain annoying, plus I'm no doctor! So instead I'll just show you some pictures.

This was me before breastfeeding.

And this is me with in just 5 months of breastfeeding. No diet. No exercise. Nothing but a never ending series of gluttonous meals. For reals.

Now you tell me, are you going to breast feed?

That's your baby.

Your boob.

So it's your call

Valentines: Before and Affer Having a Baby

I know I've blogged about dinners before and after having Collin. But u see, valentine dinner is a totally different ballgame all together.

No need to go figure. Just read on :)

Before Collin:
The night before the vday, I put myself in a super meditation mode as I brain storm all by myself as to what dress to wear and how to style my hair. Mind you, this is no ordinary brainstorm. This involves complex analysis and talking to myself kind of thinking.

When v day morning comes, I blow dry my hair. Then iron it. Then curl it up. Only to iron it again just because I changed my mind. Then I try on different clothes. After changing a million and one times, I almost always end up wearing the first one I tried on. Let's not even get started with my algorithm in deciding which shoe to wear.

During our buffer dinner at the hotel, I always start with the soup. I go back to our table with just that in hand... Oh please, I can't be one of those who have several plates on their table with mountain high food on their plates. Instead, I get up quite a few times to get small servings. You see, I have to eat with class, you know!


After Collin:
I barely remember that its vday already. But as soon as i remember, which is like the night before, super meditation starts again. Brain storming galore as always.

On the day, I plan to wake up early to implement my highly structured plan. But of course, Collin wakes up early too, perhaps to abort the mission. Once the nanny comes and successfully shifts Collins attention, I barely have time left to get ready for work. So instead, I just pick the first dress I see and wear a blazer on top of it. And my hair? I can't even blow-dry it, let alone style it. So I get stuck with a ponytail with my not-just-wet-but-water-dripping-and-making-my-dress-wet-hair.

At the buffet, Collin doesn't want mommy to be away and he doesn't want mommy to take time to eat. So to accommodate his demands , I get all food that I can possibly fit on my plate. But of course I'm not skipping soup! It's under the lobster. Oh no, it's actually under the crablegs. Or the. Um. I don't know. I'm sure it's just somewhere there on my mt.everest-high-food on my plate. And please don't ask me how many plates i have on the table because that's a very inappropriate question. And um, I lost count.

What's the point of eating with class anyway? :)


ps. Thanks to my hubby for being my valentine for the 9th time in a row! Eating with class or with out class doesn't matter, for as long as I share it with you! Luv u!

How to Get Your Way (accdg to Collin)

At 7 months old, my baby, Collin, has seemed to have mastered the scheme of knowing what he wants and making it happen.

Here's how:

1. When your mommy puts you down on your back on the changing table, scream. Hysterically. Maybe, just maybe, she will give in and just let you play rather than do something unimportant like change your soiled diaper or brush your teeth. If it doesn't work, try again. Keep trying until she gets a massive migraine attack.

2. When you want to sleep or drink your milk, but your mommy puts you on the middle of the bed or on the play mat because yet again, she wants to do something selfish and unimportant like pee 2 gallons of urine for 2 seconds or grab a bite of breakfast at 2pm, throw yourself backwards and move all your limbs to every direction that your muscle will let you and show her a soprano-like cry that will make the widows break and her eardrums bleed. It's very easy to do and it's guaranteed to work.

3. When your mommy is tricking you into sleeping through the night by nursing you even though you are full, bite her. Watch for her reaction, it's funny! Kindda kewl, actually.

Ps: if you see mommy frown because she's almost fed up, smile at her or even chuckle a lil bit so she will forget everything you did and you can then do it all over again. Yey

A Rant on Edward

After Collin was born, Edward and I have never been so closed and we've never been so in love and we've never been happier and everything just fell into place. [insert more lies here]

Umm, yes you read the last sentence right. Just in case you didn't get it, let me tell it to you straight: the above paragraph is everything but the truth.

Don't get me wrong though. Collin is the best thing that ever happened in our life. But you see, I'll have to admit that there is a huge responsibility that came with it. And before I say anything else, I'd like to clarify that I am exactly where I want to be. I don't want to change a thing. (yes it's ok that he bites me when I nurse him. It's part of the memories that I'll never ever forget!) oh wait, there is something I want to be changed!! Hint hint - see title of this blog entry! ;)

You see, our life before was about having a nice dinner on a week night, movies on the week end and traveling twice a year where our heart desires.

Then came Collin.

Our house is in now in turmoil. The bed is not made. The laundry is full. The dishes are dirty... Ok ok ok it had always been like that even before Collin came to the picture. But I swear something changed! Or someone did! Someone got soooooo cranky! Hint hint hint - see title of this blog entry ;)

Yes my dear readers. I'm ranting about edward's annoying behavior.

Allow me to share some stories:

Story 1: one night when Collin was about 3 wks old, my body was in so much pain because my legs and hands were swollen. To add to this inconvenience, Collin didn't want to sleep in his crib. He had to be held all night long else he wakes up right away. Because I was trying to be a good wife, I held him for hours on end so edward will not be awakened with Collins loud cries. I was so excited for morning to come so when the hubby wakes up, he'll be my knight and shining armor like always. I just knew in my heart that the moment he sees me still awake, he will get the baby and let me sleep for as long as I want. Then Finally, after his 8 hrs of deep slumber, he woke up! I was about to do my happy dance when he blurted grouchily , "aahhh!! I'm so tired!! My head hurts!!!"
Grrr!!

2 after being off from work for a month and a half, I came back with more than what a human being can possibly handle. So to catch up, I worked day in and day out, every single day of the week! Yup, including week ends! On the 5th week end that I was working, I told edward that I really want to be off the next week end and the only way for that to happen is for me to work that day with out taking care of Collin every couple of hours. Which means, he has to take over my week end mama duties that day instead of doing something very very important -play basketball. Since it's very heart breaking for him to skip a game, he had to sarcastically tell me that since Collin is always sleeping, he will then sleep again and make himself fat and swollen. His exact words?? "oh cge nde na ako magbabasketball. Magpapamanas nlng ako."
GRRRRRR

3. One day, instead of coming home to a peaceful house, I came home hearing a discussion between edward and his mom, who spent the night at our house. I felt for edward as he was complaining to his mom as to why she woke him up when he still had time to sleep and that he had an alarm clock anyway. While feeling sorry for him, I asked for more information.
Rei: what time did she wake you up?
Edward: 1:18!!!!!
Rei: huh? What time was you alarm clock set?? **confused**
Edward: 1:20!!!!

Nyaaaaaaa

4. One conversation
Rei: gosh I'm so tired. I only slept for 2hrs
Edward: my throat hurts

5 in a other conversation
Rei: I'm so sleepy. I haven't slept in weeks
Edward: my back hurts

6 in a txt msg at 3am
Rei: gosh Collin is awake. He doesn't wanna sleep.
Edward: I'm feeling sick

7- in another conversation
Rei: collin is teething. I was up all night because he was crying
Edward: oh men my skin hurts!

Did you notice anything wierd in numbers 4-7? No I didn't cut anything out. That's was exactly how he responded in my complaints!! Nyarrr

I'm not trying to ruin edward nor am I looking for someone to beat him up for me. (but if you insist, go ahead) :)

Even though he has been annoying, I think I just have to learn to understand him. You see, you can make him do anything but loose a minute of sleep. You can make him clean the bathroom, sweep the floor, vacuum the carpet, cook dinner, roll on the floor, sit still, get the ball with his mouth, jump off a cliff. Anything! Just not during his bedtime!

Perhaps this is what parenting is about. It's about working together and understanding each other.

Yes, a baby can make you closer and pulls you together. But the amount of responsibility that is suddenly on your shoulders can make or shake a marriage.

And I choose to let this 'make' our marriage. (with a lil rant on the side of course!)

Ps: xoxoxo to my hubby who is quite 'ruined' in this blog. I luv u sleepy head!

Quotable Quotes From Brenden

Today I'd like to share some quotable quotes from my step son Brenden. Here are my top 3 favorites. Feel free to laugh with (or at) me.

1. While we were playing when he was around 2 yrs old, brenden suddenly stopped with a sheer terror on his face; Like as if heaven and earth collided before him. Then, with a lot of confusion and fear, he asked in horror "wat dat?!!?? wat dat??!! WAT DAt??!!!," while ummmm, pointing to my breasts and scooting backwards, away from me!!! (disclaimer: no cleavage was even exposed and no child was traumatized)

2. One week end, about two weeks after I gave birth, brenden said to Collin "bye baby!!!!" Then turns to me and looks and waves at my still bulging tummy and says, "bye bye other baby!!!"

3. Brenden has been very intrigued as to what breastfeeding is. I figured that at 9yrs old, it's just right that he truly understand what it is. One day he was with me as i was breastfeeding Collin. He then asked, "can i see collin breastfeed?" i thought it should be ok because Collin is properly latched anyway. He wont see anything that he hasnt seen before as cleavage here in america is somewhat ubiquitous. To my surprise, after he watched, he then announced, "oh Collin likes breast-feeding! He did this." then he did a breast sucking motion on his lips. You know, the nasty kind that of course he didn't know look nasty!